Open terminal.
The employee arrives. Expression unchanged. Productivity remains unverified.
EMPLOYEE STATUS: ONLINE
NPC
NPC
ON STONK
The background worker has entered the trading floor. He scans the chart, watches everyone else, launches something questionable and returns to his desk like nothing happened.
CA: COMING SOON
CLOCK IN ◆ SCAN ◆ LAUNCH ◆ REPEAT ◆ NPC NEVER LEAVES THE DESK ◆
CLOCK IN ◆ SCAN ◆ LAUNCH ◆ REPEAT ◆ NPC NEVER LEAVES THE DESK ◆
THE
SHIFT
NPC does not need alpha. NPC needs a desk, a chart and a routine. Every day is the same. Somehow the candles are different.
Watch stonks.
Charts move. NPC watches. This counts as research inside the building.
Press button.
The worker has been given launch privileges. Management is already concerned.
Back tomorrow.
The market closes in his imagination. The NPC shift does not.
EMPLOYEE
TERMINAL
A live simulation of an extremely serious Stonk worker performing repetitive tasks at unreasonable hours.
[00:01] employee_001 connected
[00:03] chart window opened
[00:05] meme window opened
[00:08] second chart window opened
[00:12] STONK DETECTED
[00:13] employee continues staring
[00:21] launch permissions: pending
[00:34] coffee status: irrelevant
[00:55] shift status: ACTIVE
EMPLOYEE_001
ROLE: NPC WORKER
ROLE: NPC WORKER
MEME
DEPARTMENT
Corporate documentation from the trading floor. Click any panel for the full incident report.
NEW EMPLOYEES ACCEPTED 24/7
JOIN THE
X
JOIN THE
SHIFT.
Follow @npconstonk. HR will not contact you.